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The Year I LEARNed to Let Go

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Letting go isn’t the end of the world; it’s the beginning of a new life.

That is an anonymous quote which from the moment I read, I felt the connection.

Whoever said that may have felt the same hope in letting go.

Letting go is always equated with sadness, bitterness, frustration over failed dreams and just feeling of resentment on most cases. The year of the Water Snake, that is 2013, taught me alot about letting go and how it is not so bad after all. Surely, I have felt all negative emotions when letting go. When I look back at my year, I had been through major decisions of letting go. This is not the typical me, but due to that, I had been tougher, made of steel. Faith tested, faith empowered.

credits from: http://bwest.ca/

The year 2013, I have let go of my dreams, twice.  I have had in my hands my dream, I was in it already. It was mine, but I  chose to  let go.  Indeed, doing so needed all the courage in the  world. And I did not know where I got all my courage. When the thing you have to release is something you asked for all these years, something you want in the coming years, something you worked hard to get, it is really mind-boggling.

Regret is your enemy. When finally you let go, that  moment you felt peace, that is when regret slowly creeps in. Regret questions you over and over if that is the best thing you had done. But as I mature, I realized that letting go is not a big bad monster that haunts you in your dream, it is regret-which you created in your mind– that makes it hard for you to move on.

When I have flashbacks, surely there were times regret wins me over. Why did I not continued? Why did I not fought on? I could have closed my eyes and went ahead.  And the only answer I could give is that I wanted to be happy. In moments when you felt like Atlas, when everything is too heavy to carry, letting go is the best decision to make. That is what I tell regret, and indeed, regret vanishes in a flash. I feel lighter, I feel the burden gone.

credits from :atlas shrugged

Even letting go of the grudge and pain, I learned. It made me way lighter. When you are letting go of someone who has brought you some unwanted emotions,  you felt free. I felt free.  People can come into your lives and stay for years, some for a season and can bring you too many emotions.Yet, when they leave, you cannot cling on to those emotions they gave you. Those feelings must also go with the person that brought them. It is not for yours to keep and nurture.

I was able to do that. I may have not have quickly emptied all the feelings yet,at least 90% had left. And I felt I could breathe so much easy.

Let me list the valuable lessons I learned by letting go:

1. Letting go gives you back your happiness. You lost it while trying to cling on to something.

2. Letting go gifts you peace of mind. You breathe easily and sleep comfortably without any worries.

3. Letting go deepens your faith. When you felt you’ve lost everything, you still have faith.

4. Letting go makes you appreciate what you have. It makes you see and thank the things you took for granted when you where busy holding on.

5.Letting go offers you too many roads. You suddenly see the path to take, less bumpy, shorter ways.

6. Letting go pays you with a pot of gold. You lose some to gain more.

7. Letting go teaches you to worry less and be fearless. If you already lost something, you are brave to face anything, knowing you have nothing to lose anymore.

8. Letting go rebuilds your life. You start fresh, you are given another clean canvass. Do not hold on to an already full one.

These lessons worked well for me. They were all positive. Lessons that makes me proud.  If anyone had been through a tough choice of letting go, be proud. You are now one notch tougher and wiser  than your previous self or even others  whom you think always have the stroke of luck.

I will stand by these lessons and say “I am thankful I let go“.♣

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Give a Little Love to NYX Matte Lip Cream

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I had been a fan of NYX brand specially of the lipstick. Their colors are vibrant and rich.

Recently, I came across another promising product from NYX- their matte lip cream.

Even some of my friends have their own color of matte lip cream. After several feedbacks from them and some research results ( I always does research before I buy), I finally decided to give this a try.

Upon looking at the selection from NYX Wholesale PH, I stumbled upon an interesting deal.

NYX Limited Give a Little Love Set. This contains 3 well-loved shades- Antwerp, Addis Ababa and Tokyo.

For only P475, you get to try all three good shades.

NYX Give a Little Love

As  I receive my order from NYX Wholesale PH, I cannot wait but open the package.

Package from NYX Wholesale PH

The NYX matte lip cream

In the package it says that it’s not lipstick nor a gloss and opening the tube, I can say it isn’t really either of the two. Its creamy texture makes it more colorful and lasting. One swipe can last almost the whole day.

I even added another shade, Monte Carlo which is like the cream version of Electra. A very good and matte shade of red.

Monte Carlo

While I am loving this Matte Lip Cream, which is also very handy, a downside would be it’s drying effect on the lips. I suggest to damp on a gloss or balm first before swiping the NYX Matte Lip Cream.

If you do not moisturize, one can see the lines of your lips and you can feel the dryness as you go through the day. Also, with its plastic tube bottle, the durability cannot be promised. I had accidentally dropped my Antwerp and the plastic bottle cracked.

See below how the different shades look:

Addis Ababa shade

Addis Ababa is a bright pink shade that can also pass as fuschia. I thought I am not able to sport this color but turns out I do apply this often specially on days that  I don’t wear heavy make up.

Tokyo shade

Tokyo is a light pink shade when I applied it. Makes my lips look really pale. This is the color I least apply as I feel my lips also float within my face. However, there are times that I apply this shade when I want a subtle look on my lips.

Antwerp shade

Antwerp is one of my usual day color. Gives my lips brightness and but does not have a distracting effect. It is subtle but you will notice it”s there.  It is almost a coral shade which can be paired with most outfits I have.

Monte Carlo shade

Monte Carlo as mentioned is similar to Electra. It has a matte red finish and looks great for no make up look. I usually swipe on this shade when I do not have any make up on or I have the lightest make up.

I would still recommend the NYX Matte Lip Cream for those who wants easy application and bright shade on their lips. It is hassle free for me, just like putting on a lip gloss. It is very handy and long lasting.

I would definitely try out other shades of the Matte Lip Cream.

A List of Why I Love Bulacan

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I want to share some things that are worth coming back here.

As a young girl, I grew up having my vacations in Bulacan. To be exact, in Pulong Buhangin, Sta. Maria, Bulacan. I actually lived there for a couple of years. Life there was simple. You wake up, do chores,eat meals (which you wouldn’t worry what to cook),visit and hang out with neighbors then  have merienda, at sunset, watch television and go to sleep.

Mine was simpler – wake up, eat breakfast, play,eat lunch,sleep,eat merienda,play,eat dinner,sleep. If you will notice, the words just repeated, which means my day to day was just simple that I had to repeat activities. 🙂

in Bulacan

Celebrating my birthday with Mama

Things changed as years passed. Lesser trips to Bulacan. There where even vacations we did not went home. Till recently, we started going home again. Few constructions, growing neighborhood,developed lands. Inspite of these changes, still I felt like I had never left.

In this generation that are full of buildings,gadgets,fast paced life,I want to share some things that are worth coming back and should be appreciated.

HOMECOOK MEALS

 

Truly,whenever I think of Bulacan, I always remember sumptuous meals prepared by my Ate (my tita) and Mama. Even restaurants would not compare to the cooking we have in Bulacan. Whether its poultry, fish, seafood or vegetables and fruits,everything is fresh. We do not worry on where to buy and get these as it’s mostly available within reach. My Ate is good with planting crops and small plants. She can grab calmansi,chili, guava etc.just at the backyard.

Guava tree

Fresh fruits everyday

Sweet corn

Ate is like a genie that whenever I wish or crave for something, it’s instantly there or prepared the next day!

I can eat almost anything. Sinigang, nilaga,tinola,inihaw, bistek, dinuguan, hipon, alimango, calamares, beef broccoli. Name it, she cooks it.

Beef Broccolli

Bistek (beefsteak)

Shrimp

Bulalo

Grilled squid and chicken

Grilled stuffed bangus (milkfish)

PALABOK

I recognize that there are alot of delicious versions of palabok. However,I would have to put Bulacan’s palabok on top of my list. Special mention to Dhel and Vic’s palabok. Everytime I go home, I would need to buy from them. You pair it with their puto pao and it’s the perfect merienda.

Palabok and puto pao

FIESTA

Bulacan has kept its tradition of fiesta with marching bands(mosiko),sagala and prusisyon.

Mosiko

People lined up on the streets,spectators in front of their houses gazing at the festivities.

I couldn’t help but be proud that traditions like these are still being practiced and experienced by the younger generation.

BALUT

It’s in Bulacan also that I had the courage to try this Pinoy delicacy. Well… not really so courageous as I can’t try the sisiw yet. All these years, I have either my Mama or Ate eat the sisiw. 🙂

Balut

Bondat ;famous vendor of balut-who’s got a big tummy,always in white shirt- is the only vendor we buy balut from. He sells yummy balut with just the right size of chick. I could consume an average of 3 baluts in one seating!

BOODLE FIGHT WITH RELATIVES

I also miss occasional visits to relatives and just hanging out with them over lunch. We make do with what we have. No extra preparations. Just serve what you have and bring what you can. It brings back good ‘ol days when everyone was younger, everyone was there. Now,new kids had replaced me and my cousins.

Some of these nephews and nieces don’t know me much and vice versa. I look forward to moments like these where I get to hang out and laugh with them.

boodle fight with relatives

LANDSCAPE

I still get mesmerized whenever I see beautiful sceneries which I can only enjoy in Bulacan.

I can take pictures all I want,go back everyday and just linger. I could not imagine that I see right before my eyes an Amorsolo painting- blue skies, clouds, carabaos, rice fields and cool breeze. It’s just picturesque….

a view of the fields

Greeneries and fields adorned our barrio. Even just peeking through the backyard, you can enjoy the magnificent nature’s view.  It’s in Bulacan that I still get to appreciate the trees and plants that can only be seen on books nowadays. The silence of the place during holidays will also led you to hear birds chirping,roosters cocking, leaves swaying….

BUTCHI

I have to give butchi a special space on this list as I could only savour this personal favorite in Bulacan. I know that in Bulacan,chicharon is a proud produce,however, I enjoy butchi here more than the ones I buy from the mall/restaurant. The locally made one is bigger and fuller. It usually has a monggo or kamote filling. Ate would always buy me one whenever I go home.

Butchi

 

LECHE FLAN

Alongside with butchi, leche flan is another sweet delicacy I enjoy whenever I am in Bulacan.

Ate could even make alot of llaneras for our own consumption. Leche flan has always been part of my favorites list. I have tasted the best leche flan under our roof and not just a slice but a whole llanera as I please!

I know that perhaps by now you would notice this list full of food. Yes, this is how gastronomically satisfied and proud I am of Bulacan.

ATE

I had been talking much about Ate which I have not yet introduced. This lady is the greatest reason why I love Bulacan and I long to go home everytime. I call her Ate (a-teh), like most in the family because she is the eldest sister of my mom. Thus,she is my mama’s ate,and I also grew up calling her ate. I lived with her for about two years when I was a toddler while my mom’s working. She spoiled me like a grandmother and cared for me like a mother.

Ate

Ate is so cool and so cowboy and a mix of kikay as well. She didn’t start a family of her own. She treated me and my mom her family. Ate as I have mentioned is a cowboy who likes wearing only tokong and jeans most of the time. She can drink beer and even the strongest grape wine there is. She used to smoke tobaco like cigars before, where you could not buy from usual cigarette stores.

She also cannot do away with her nganga. It’s an old pastime she inherited from her mother. I could not even describe fully what it is. She buys ikmo,bunga, mascada then mixes and rolls small portions of those before chewing it. Then after a while she will spit it out. Makes me more curious that I want to research on it. Most of Ate’s contemporary in Bulacan chews nganga and they even bring it with them as they go out. It’s like their version of ‘yosi break.’

I can go on and on with a long list. However, the fulfillment I get whenever I am home cannot amount to the words I have written here. I believe we ll have childhood memories of places we lived, memories that linger and comes alive everytime we come home.